


Disastrous affair.

by AwkwardCat



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Mind Control, Mind Reading, Reader-Insert, Resistance, Slight spoilers, The Force Awakens, will most likely contain smut at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardCat/pseuds/AwkwardCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Y/N). A member of the resistance and spy falls into the hands of the first order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I suddenly woke, a scream caught in my throat as I opened my eyes. I tried to move my body, but something was restraining me. The brightly lit room made it hard for my eyes to adjust. Completely disoriented I tried to remember what happened.

(Y/N). A highly skilled spy working for the Resistance. I remembered setting off on a mission to retrieve crucial information about the First Order and their future plans. After collecting what was necessary, and being so close to escaping the Star Destroyer, I made a mistake. A mistake that will most likely cost me my life, and the fate of the Resistance.

After my eyes have almost fully adjusted to the light, I started observing my surroundings. I was in a small room, my body restrained by some sort of metal torture chair. When I had a better look around the room, I noticed something, or rather someone I haven’t before. A dark figure sitting in a chair across the room, observing me.

“Comfortable?” A distorted voice spoke. Taken aback by the fact that I didn’t realize I had company, I did not reply. I just stared. The dark figure before me was Kylo Ren, commander of the First Order himself.  


“Cat’s got your tongue?” I peered at him, hateful thoughts rushing through my mind. _I will not betray the Resistance. I’d rather die_.

I raised one brow and put on a fake smile. “Very. Thank you for your concern.” I finally retorted. He stood up and started pacing around the room with his arms behind his back, not looking in my direction.  
“You must know that I am not to be fooled with. The sooner this is over, the better.” He spoke softly, yet his tone was stern. He circled around me, his steps echoing off the walls.

My eyes cautiously followed his every movement. His aura had something intriguing. He seemed calm, but simultaneously as if he could burst out at any given moment. I stayed silent for a while, trying to clear my mind. “Lovely atmosphere I must say. I feel really welcomed.” The Sarcasm dripping off every word I spoke. “Though I must say, I would rather speak to a man than a mask.”

Kylo Ren stopped and kneeled down before me. I observed his masked face, trying to catch any sign of emotion. “As you wish, spy.” He reached up and took off his mask, revealing his surprisingly young and handsome features. His dark hair framed his face perfectly, his steel coloured eyes staring into mine. I certainly did not expect the commander of the First order to be a young man, who is not bad to look at either.

I observed his face and raised my chin, trying to read his stoic expression. “Hmpf, I’m disappointed. I expected something more spectacular,” I said with a brassy tone, trying not to look impressed by his rather handsome appearance.

“What did you expect?” He asked, intrigued by my response.

I thought about it for a few seconds, trying to find out myself what it was that I expected. “Perhaps an old man with one eye. Or a deformed, molten face… Maybe a combination of both?” Kylo Ren hummed in response, seeming slightly amused by my bold attitude. The chances of me making it out alive were minuscule, but I would never betray the Resistance, no matter what.

Kylo Ren rose to his feet, looking down at me. “Now that you’ve had your fun, it’s time for you to answer my questions.” His voice was suddenly dark, sending shivers down my spine. “You have two options. You either do it willingly, or I will have to do it my way.” He leaned over, his face inches away from me. “And trust me when I say, you wouldn’t like that.”  


I did not break eye contact, trying not to be intimidated by him invading my personal space. Narrowing my eyes I said, “I am not telling you anything, so forget it.”

He clicked his tongue in disapproval, and stepped away from me. I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for whatever will happen next. Kylo Ren turned his back to me.  


“As you wish. I hoped we could have solved this in a more… pleasant way.” Before I could think of a snarky response about how someone might get the wrong idea, a sharp pain interrupted my thoughts. I gulped, trying to calm down, but the pain only intensified.

“Ah, I see it now. You are not so brave as you pretend to be”. His voice was sharp like a knife. My head was spinning, the pain in my throat unbearable. A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead, tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but they ended up rolling down my cheek. “Get. Out.” I whispered incoherently. Clenching my teeth as I tried to block him out of my head.

“Did you say something?” He turned around, facing me now. His hand reached forward, increasing the force of his power. The pain was nauseating. “You sure are a scared, lost little girl, aren’t you?”

I groaned, on the verge of screaming my lungs out. “GET. OUT.” Gasping for air I tried to continue, “GET OUT OF MY HEAD.”

“The Resistance base, where is it located?” He demanded. His grip tightened on my mind, his eyes scanning my face. A wicked smile appeared on his face. “I see, the Ileenium system is it?” He lowered his arm and kneeled down before me once again. The pressure on my lungs and throat disappeared altogether, and I gasped for air. The pain started fading away. I was breathing heavily, my body shaking. I peered at him, the rage building inside of me.

“Why, you seem upset. I warned you, did I not?” Kylo Ren mused. I refused to look him in the eyes, afraid that making eye contact will reveal more information about the Resistance. I made a second big mistake today, underestimating his power.


	2. Chapter 2

My body felt heavy, exhaustion taking over. My breaths were short gasps for air and my hands felt numb. Kylo Ren’s mind controlling power was something I did not expect. I knew he was powerful, dangerous. But this changes everything. He did not mess around. He could get any information he desired, and I could not stop him from doing so. 

“How pitiful. It seems that all of this has cost you a lot of energy. Tired?” His voice sounded different. Soft, almost as if there was a hint of sympathy in his words. I quickly glanced over at him to see the expression on his face, but immediately regretted it. His eyes were piercing right through my soul, hungry for something. It did not match his almost concerned tone. 

I tried to focus on something else, so I decided to stare at the floor beneath me. The entire room felt too clean, too sterile. The floor was like clear water on a sunny day, I saw my own reflection in it. I truly looked pathetic. Eyes moist and red from tears, face covered in sweat, panting like a dog. 

He was right however, I was bone-tired. I dreamed of a warm bed, yearning for it. All I wanted is to fall asleep for eternity. But I knew that I would never be able to return to D’Qar. The Resistance was doomed and I will die a traitor, all because of one stupid mistake.

How could I ever allow something like this to happen? I have never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. Kylo Ren stepped behind me, placing his gloved hand on my right shoulder. I wanted to flinch away, but the restrains kept me in place. “Do not touch me, you monster.” My voice cracked, barely loud enough to be heard. 

“I do not wish to hurt you. But if you do not cooperate, you leave me no other choice.” He spoke in a calm, husky voice. It was almost convincing, yet I refused to believe a word he said. I became very aware of the pressure of his hand on my shoulder. His touch was like ice, sending shivers down my spine. 

“You have another choice,” I said, trying to sound confident. 

_There must be something, anything at all that I can do to warn the Resistance. I must not give up. Not yet._.

“Is that so?” His other hand reached around and grabbed my chin, pushing it upwards. He moved closer, his face right next to my ear. “Then tell me, spy. What other choice do I have?” He spoke in a seductive voice. His lips almost brushing against my ear, making me shudder.

“You could let me go.” Silence filled the room, heavy like a threat. I surprised even myself. I must have stopped breathing, because I felt a little lightheaded. Kylo Ren stepped away, and laughed sharply. Mockingly. 

“You are either very brave, or incredibly foolish to request such thing.” His voice was piercing and intimidating. “You know too much.” He stood in front of me, facing the other direction. Silence filled the room once again, leaving me waiting in anticipation. 

“Fine. I will play along,” he finally spoke. “Tell me, spy. What is your name?” His response took me by surprise. Why did he want to know my name? I expected pain, torture, even death. Instead he was willing to hear me out. Why?

Still intoxicated from his touch, I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind. _This might be my only chance._ “(Y/N). My name is (Y/N).” I tried to sound as fearless as possible, but my voice trembled a bit.

His back was still facing me when he spoke, “Ah, wonderful. Now tell me, (Y/N), what is the reason I should let you leave?” He turned around, his arms crossed in front of his chest. I looked at his stoic expression. His pale face and dark hair contrasted each other perfectly. 

He slightly tilted his head before continuing, “You see, I think that you could still be very useful.” He paused and scanned my face. His eyes were like a restless, grey sky right before a thunderstorm. "So it would be a shame to let you go." His features were unique, making his appearance mysterious yet appealing at the same time. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to figure out what exactly he meant by that. 

“And do not fear, you are worth plenty more alive than dead.” A smile crept up on his face, making me wish I wasn't so attracted to him. It would have been much easier to focus on how to save the future of the Resistance that way. 

I took a deep breath, trying to come up with something. “I have information about the first order, and you have information about the Resistance.” I started, not entirely sure where I was going with this. “You could say that we’re even. You let me go, I can warn my friends in time before you attack. Even odds.” What a pathetic attempt. I knew this was not going to change his mind, yet I kept talking.

“I am aware that a surprise attack is much more... impactful. But it would be be a much more honourable battle, wouldn't it?” As if the First Order cared about honour. I should have kept my mouth shut, instead I made myself look even more stupid. The way he looked at me made me weak. I hated how he enchanted me, while I simultaneously loathed his very existence. 

Kylo Ren clicked his tongue and shook his head. He was not impressed. I mentally face palmed myself for being so naive. “Ah, an honourable battle,” he scoffed. “I thought you were more intelligent than this. I must say I am disappointed in you, (Y/N).” 

He turned away from me, slowly walking towards what seemed to be the exit. I gulped. This was hopeless. How did I go from being a highly skilled, professional spy to being some sort of simpleminded wench? The thought of it made my blood boil.

Before reaching the exit, he stopped in his tracks and turned his head towards me. “Though I must admit, your loyalty and devotion to the Resistance is quite... touching.” His words and tone riled me up. “However, there is nothing you can do to save your friends. You can never escape, you scared, lonely little damsel in distress.” 

Something snapped inside of me. I was not going to be belittled by him, I have had enough. “Maybe you are afraid,” I sneered without giving it much thought. My voice was razor-sharp, hatred dripping from every word. His shoulders stiffened. “Maybe that’s why you don’t want an equal fight.” The Rage was building up inside of me, and I kept talking. 

“You just hide behind that pathetic mask, stomp around, pretend to be some sort of god-like villain.” Taunting him was not a good idea, but I didn’t care anymore. The words were spilling out of my mouth rapidly, not thinking about the consequences. “Yet when it comes to a real, fair battle, you suddenly get cold feet!”

My body was shaking from the fury that burned inside of me. Kylo Ren seemed frozen in place, not moving a single muscle. “You are no man,” I continued, "You are a poor, lost boy who happens to have a great power. Nothing more.” 

He moved quickly. My eyes could barely keep up with the speed. He turned around with his lightsaber drawn, striding towards me. The red glow of his weapon reflected in his stormy eyes, filled with uproar. The entire room lit up red. His aura became sinister, making me tremble in fear. 

He used his power to throw my head against the hard metal surface of the restraining chair. I felt the pressure of the force squeezing my throat, choking me. His lightsaber was pointing at me, inches away from my face. The heat radiating from it burned my skin, making me want to cry out in pain. 

He suddenly let go of my throat, still keeping his weapon far too close to my face. I gasped for air, trying to move away from the heat. His face was dark, hostile. I was overwhelmed with fear. My mind went blank.

“You stepped over the line, spy.” His voice was like poison, penetrating every inch of my body, flowing through my veins. “Do you need to be reminded what I am capable of?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am truly amazed by the response I got from the first chapter. I wasn't sure anyone would be interested, but the first chapter had over a 1000 hits overnight! Thank you all for the nice comments, I am happy to deliver more.
> 
> Now, some of you may have noticed I slightly changed the perspective. While writing the second chapter, I decided to change it because it felt more natural for me. I hope you don't mind. 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit longer, with more character development. With the Holidays coming up, I think I will update the story after Christmas is over. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much you did the last one!


	3. Chapter 3

_By the gods, how could I have been so stupid? Challenging my enemy while being imprisoned by the First Order is insane. I am on their territory. No one would care I would be killed right here, right now._

“What’s wrong?” Kylo Ren’s taunting voice interrupted my thoughts, yet it didn’t sound as enraged as it was moments ago. His lightsaber was still uncomfortably close, but he moved it so that the heat didn’t burn my skin. It was enough to lessen my fear a bit. “You don’t have anything else to say?” A devilish smile appeared on his face, making me uneasy. 

“I think it is time for you to learn some respect, if you wish to stay unharmed.” He moved his lightsaber along the side of my face, not quite close enough to actually hurt me, but enough to make me wince. He tilted his head, still with that annoying grin on his face.

“It would be a shame to ruin a pretty face like yours, wouldn’t it?” His tone was cocky, irritating me to the core. He withdrew his lightsaber, the heat still lingering on my skin. He stepped towards me, standing too close for my liking. 

My fear started fading away, replaced with disgust. He was toying with me. Provoking me seemed to amuse him highly. I bit my bottom lip and looked away to keep myself from saying something that I might regret later. _I guess this is karma._

I jumped slightly when he suddenly cupped my face, patting my cheek. He forced me to look at him. “I’m over here, doll face. What did I just say? Look at me when I talk to you,” he scolded. I bitterly looked him in the eyes as I tried to evade his touch. The way he ridiculed me was infuriating. 

His aura was dark and intimidating. There was something peculiar about him however. I’ve heard rumors about Kylo Ren. Whispered stories spread by fellow Resistance members, about General Leia Organa and Han solo, and the legendary Luke Skywalker. I did not care about simpleminded gossip and rumors, because most of them were just stories. I usually pretended not to hear them talk. Those stories were meaningless. Made up. 

Even though I wanted to believe that they were indeed just fables, my gut was telling me otherwise. What if there was some truth in those so called rumors? There was something familiar about Kylo Ren, but I wasn’t entirely sure what. 

My mind was drifting off, which displeased Kylo Ren. He let out a displeased grumble, “Y/N…” He pulled my chin up, shifting my focus on him again. “Have you suddenly become shy? Talk to me.”

My eyes were like daggers, but I kept my mouth shut. I was annoyed, furious even. Angry with myself that I was allured by him. He had some sort of magnetism that attracted me to him, luring me in. 

I then realized that’s why he was doing this. He knew. _He thinks of me as some sort of toy to be played with. This may be the only reason why I am still alive._ It sounded plausible enough, he seemed like the sadistic type. 

I was not going to be some kind of pet, no way. My pride would not allow me to succumb. With that thought, my head felt a little cloudy. I felt a faint, stinging pain and I let out a quiet whine. He was doing it again, invading my mind. 

“Oh, what do we have here?" He looked at me in a smug way, "Now that sounds like an… interesting idea.” I gulped. His voice was sinister, dark. I glared at him, I hated how he could read me like that. He frowned, and clicked his tongue. “Now, now. Don’t give me that look” I gritted my teeth. He was driving me nuts. 

“You decided to give me the silent treatment, did you not? I do not appreciate being ignored, so I decided to find out myself what was going on in that little head of yours.” He let go of my chin and slid behind me, placing both of his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them. Goosebumps rose all over my body, his strong touch sending shivers down my spine. My breath hitched in my throat and I whimpered softly. I was going mad.

“I think you need to be disciplined,” he spoke in a husky voice. I did not like where this was going, not one bit. I balled my hands into fists and squeezed my eyes shut. Not only did I fail the Resistance miserably, putting them in great danger, but I also ended up putting myself in possibly the most humiliating situation I have ever been in.

Kylo Ren hummed and let go of my shoulders. He moved away from me, and I heard the sound of an intercom like device. He mumbled something into it, which I didn’t quite grasp. “Yes, commander. Guards are on their way.” I tried to turn my head, curious about what he was planning, but the restrains stopped me from doing so.

Only a few seconds have passed when the door before me suddenly opened. About four Storm Trooper guards marched in, armed. Kylo Ren approached them. “Take this prisoner to cell 2.819, and keep her there unless I order otherwise. Make sure the cell is well guarded at all times.” 

_I am being moved to a cell?_ I couldn’t complain. Anything better than this miserable restraining chair. Anxiously I cleared my dry throat. I realized that not only I was bone-tired, but also starving and dehydrated. 

“Yes, sir.” Two of the guards approached me, releasing me from my restrains. I immediately fell down to my knees. Too weak to stand up on my own, they pulled me up roughly. My legs were shaky and my wrists hurt from being restricted. Kylo Ren watched from a distance with his arms behind his back as the guards lead me out the room. He stopped them in their tracks.

“Make sure our guest is well fed and rested,” he turned towards me and continued, “Starting tomorrow you will start your duty as my servant. I think it will be a suitable method to teach you some obedience.” 

Dumbfounded by his verdict, I was dragged out of the room while Kylo Ren watched with a apathetic look on his face. "What!?" I blurted out. He put his mask back on unaffectedly and followed us briefly down the hallway before taking a different turn. He looked back over his shoulder. “I will see you in the morning, (Y/N),” he said with a stern voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for the heartwarming compliments, it really means a lot to me. I certainly did not expect my story to get such positive feedback, and I am really grateful. I will keep writing more as soon as possible. I don't want to rush the chapters however, I think it's important that I am satisfied with each and every one. Thank you for reading, I hope you will continue to do so!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here it is, the next chapter! As a thank you for all your support, this chapter is extra long. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (It is currenly 5:50 am, so I am sorry for any mistakes. I will correct them as soon as I wake up)

It was late at night. The guards had brought me to my cell, handing me some awfully smelling food and some water before they left. I drank the water, but left the so called “food” untouched. I was too nervous to eat anyway. 

I was still in shock from what Kylo Ren had declared. What on earth was the thinking? I had no intention of being his “servant” and obeying him. The thought of it alone made me cringe. This was absolutely demeaning. Me, a highly skilled Resistance spy in the hands of the enemy, forced into being some kind of slave. Dying heroically, fighting until the very end would have been a better ending. The safety of the resistance would have been secure that way. 

But I am no hero, nor will I die one. I failed to carry out my mission and put the Resistance in great danger. Additionally, I ended up in this shameful and dishonouring position. There was no way of escaping, not from this cell. I looked for any possibilities to get out of here, only resulting in disappointment. 

There was only one way in or out, which would be heavily guarded at all times, just like Kylo Ren ordered. I had plenty of knowledge about picking the most complex locks, but there was no way of opening the door open from the inside. There was nothing useful in the room either. Only a metal, very uncomfortable bed, one chair and an empty cabinet. It made me wonder what I was supposed to do when I… I had to go.

There was not much to the cell, but at least it was better than being strapped to a metal chair. It felt good to stretch my sore limbs and even being able to walk around. I was anxious however, not knowing what to expect from the days to come. I decided to try and get some sleep, as I laid down on the hard and cold metal bed. 

_What am I supposed to do as his “servant”? Do everything he demands, fulfil his needs, and be punished if I disobey him? And what if I am no longer any use for him, or he simply gets bored? Will he kill me, dump me on some forgotten planet and leave me to die? Or maybe sell me as a slave to some perverted scum?_

My thoughts were making it impossible for me to fall asleep, so I just pondered, staring at the ceiling above me. 

I groaned angrily, jumped to my feet and started pacing around the room. I angrily slammed my fist against a wall, the sound echoing off the walls. A muffled “Keep it down in there,” came from the other side of the door. I sighed and sat down in the miserable chair, realizing I had to pee. Great, exactly what I was worried about. _Why on earth is there no toilet in this bloody cell?!_

I took a deep breath as I walked over to the door, softly knocking on it. “Hello? Is someone there?” Of course there was someone there, my cell was supposed to be guarded at all times. No one answered however. I gritted my teeth in frustration, knowing that the guards were ignoring me. What was I supposed to do, pee all over the floor? I knocked again, this time louder. “There is no bathroom in here,” I tried. Still no answer.

I mumbled some vulgar words and kicked the door. I pressed my ear against it, trying to hear if anyone was there. “Come on! I am serious!” I heard some incoherent muttering. _Are they really doing this right now?_ I started banging the door out of despair. ”Please, just let me use a restroom!” I cried out. I heard a chuckle, followed by whispers. “IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO PISS MYSELF IN HERE, PLEASE JUST LET ME PEE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

I was greeted by silence, followed by some beeping noises. I leaned on the door, trying to figure out what was happening. Suddenly, the door opened and I stumbled into something, or rather someone’s torso. I looked up and saw that it was a Stormtrooper, seemingly of a higher rank. The armour he was wearing was silver, and a black cape with red lining hung from his shoulders. Before I could say anything, my hands were put into handcuffs.

“So, you are going to let me pee?” I asked unsure, surprised that someone actually opened that stupid door. I guessed it was a Captain, or someone alike. The Captain pushed me in front of him, and lead me out of my cell. Along with the two other Stormtroopers who guarded my cell, I was lead through the hallway, leading to what I hoped to be a damned restroom. When we arrived, the Captain opened the door and pushed me in, closing the door behind us. 

“You are coming with me to the fucking bathroom?” I asked abashed. “What are you, a creep?!” The Captain removed my restrains and pushed me towards the lavatory. “Are you scared that I am going to escape using the damned draining pipes?” I snapped, fazed by how someone could be this lewd.

“Shut that indecent mouth of yours and be quick about it, before I change my mind.” Baffled, I stared at the masked figure before me. It was a woman’s voice. I awkwardly scratched the back of my head, feeling a bit sorry for being so rude. “I-I… I didn’t know…” She interrupted me by motioning to go ahead and do whatever I needed to.

After I was done the female Captain handcuffed me again and lead me back to my cell. Inside she took off my restrains, and as she turned around to leave I quickly apologized. “I’m sorry. About before. I didn’t know.” She turned her head, nodded and left my cell. “Thanks.” I added before she closed the door behind her.

I sighed deeply and slogged over to the metal bed, collapsing on it with a loud thud. I started to feel my exhaustion, and almost immediately fell asleep. 

 

Haunted by nightmares, I woke up with a shriek caught in my throat. Someone was tugging and pulling my arm. I quickly sat up and turned towards my offender. It was a young Twi’lek girl with a startled look on her face. I rubbed my eyes and glared at her, agitated that she woke me from my deep slumber. I then remembered where I was, realizing that I was not having a bad dream. This was reality. 

“What do you want?” I snapped. The girl avoided my intimidating gaze and moved away from me. She pointed at something placed on the chair. I grumbled and rose to my feet to get a closer look. It was a pile of clothing, neatly folded. I raised my eyebrow and asked, “What am I supposed to do with this shit?” It was a dumb question, I was supposed to put them on of course. 

I picked up the clothing, holding it out in front of me. It was a quite revealing garment to say the least. The top looked more like a corset with a plunging neckline, leaving little to the imagination. The bottom part consisted of a long skirt with two very long slits reaching all the way up to the waistline. “You must be kidding me. Do I really have to wear this?” I asked the girl. She did not answer me. She just stood there with her eyes cast on the floor, hands folded in front of her. 

I sighed, realizing that I would not be able to communicate with her properly. Maybe she didn’t speak the common tongue. Maybe she didn’t speak at all. I bit the inside of my cheek, angrily staring at those ridiculous “clothes”. Kylo Ren must be a fool to think I would wear such obscene apparel for his amusement. 

“I am not wearing this” I announced, throwing the garments at the girl. She caught only half of it, and quickly picked up the rest. She hastily approached me and and grabbed my wrists, pushing the garments into my arms. I looked at her as if I saw ice burning, not understanding why it was so important to her that I would wear those clothes. “Calm down, why are you so nervous?”

She looked me in the eyes, pleading. I then noticed her bruises and scars covering her arms. I was taken aback by the sight, feeling pity for her. I smiled apologetically and sighed. She must have been through hell. Who knows what they have done to her, and what they would do to me if I refused.

The girl also brought a bucket filled with steaming water mixed with essential oils, the floral scent rising from it. She grabbed a soft sponge and approached me. I gave her a questioning look before realizing she wanted to clean me with it. "There's no need for that, I can do it on my own.." The girl didn't seem to listen to me, and started rinsing my hair. It felt a little weird at first, I was not expecting to receive service like this. Wasn't I supposed to be a servant? Not that I could complain, it felt nice to be clean again. After being finished the girl braided my hair into a long plaid, letting it rest in front of my left shoulder. She then handed me the clothing once again, staring at me with a hopeful look in her eyes. I sighed and nodded, finally giving in. 

After I was done changing into the rather… Risqué attire, the girl seemed rather cheerful. She even chuckled when she saw me standing in the middle of the room, dumbfounded and embarrassed. I glared at her, but eventually shook my head and smiled. She seemed at ease now.

The door of the cell suddenly opened, and two guards came in. The girl quickly walked over to a corner of the room, avoiding any eye contact. The two guards approached me. “We are here to escort you to Commander Kylo Ren.” One of the guards stated calmly, while the other handcuffed me. Before I could protest, they lead me out of the cell, leaving the Twi’lek girl behind. I felt guilty for not being able to thank her for being the only kind person here. 

The guards marched me through Starkiller base’s hallways. I had no idea where we were heading, other than that Kylo Ren would be there. I was anxious, scared even. Thinking about the possible demands he might have made me shudder. Not knowing what to expect made me jittery and insecure, and I hated it. 

We abruptly stopped in front of a decent-sized entrance, snapping me out of my thoughts. The door slid open, and the guards lead me inside. The spacious room appeared to be Kylo Ren’s private quarters. He himself was nowhere to be seen however. 

The guards released me from my restrains and left without saying a word, closing and locking the door behind them. Completely bewildered, I looked around the room. It was tastefully furnished with a big, comfortable looking sofa in the centre. There was a rectangular table with a couple of chairs neatly arranged around it, a desk and some bookcases. I saw a large window overlooking an enormous snowy landscape. I also noticed a door on the far right, assuming it was a bathroom or maybe a bedroom. It was not what I expected. It seemed almost cosy in here. 

I slowly walked further into the room, not knowing what to do next. No one gave me any instructions, so I thoughtlessly started pacing towards the window, wanting to take a closer look. 

I jumped when I heard a noise from behind me. I turned around on my heals rapidly, seeing the one and only Knight of Ren leaning against a wall. He was wearing his usual uniform, except for his mask. Spooked by his sudden appearance, I let out a small gasp, to which he responded: “My apologies, did I startle you?”

He walked past me, heading towards the sofa. He sat down on it and studied me from head to toe, making me uncomfortable. A smug smile appeared on his face. “It suits you,” He stated. I gritted my teeth, trying really hard not to tell him _my_ thoughts about the attire. 

“I suppose we should start right away.” He motioned for me to approach him, to which I rolled my eyes. I slowly came closer with my arms crossed in front of my chest, trying to cover my revealing bodice. He looked at me impatiently and clicked his tongue. 

“Why, you seem flustered. You don’t like what I picked out for you?” His voice was bold, taunting. “I look absolutely ridiculous.” I retorted, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. Kylo Ren shrugged and said, “I think you look wonderful.” I scowled and turned my head away from him. 

“I need you to listen very carefully to what I say.” His tone was serious. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, not giving him my full attention. “There are some rules we must discuss before you start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, things are getting a bit... Risqué. Don't worry, I don't rush things, I like to take it nice and slow. Sorry if you hate me for it. 
> 
> You may have noticed I added some characters, I think most of you guessed who the _oh so mysterious_ captain was. I'm planning on involving more characters to give the plot some more depth.
> 
> The next chapter will be released shortly!


	5. Chapter 5

I glared at the man before me. The way he looked at me was bewitching, luring me in. Whenever I did not dare to look at him, it was his voice that invaded me seductively, demanding. I hated how he enchanted me, and I despised even more how he knew what effect he had on me. It was a game for him, something to keep him entertained. 

“Oh, I am dying to know.” I managed to say, trying to sound courageous. Inside I was trembling. Kylo Ren was dangerous, and refusing to obey him would result in me being done for. I would not show fear however. I still had my pride. I turned my head towards him and raised my chin, scanning his face. He was still sitting down, resulting in me towering over him. That didn’t change the fact that his aura was still way more intimidating than mine. 

He looked rather amused. A smirk painted his features, making me want to wipe that stupid grin off his face. “I am sure you are.” He retorted. He suddenly stood up, standing mere inches away from me. Before I could take a step back, he grabbed my wrists and held me in place. My breath got caught in my throat as a let out a quiet gasp. 

He was standing so close to me that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. He loomed over me, making me look up to see his face. His expression was dark, sending goose bumps all over my body. His grip tightened slightly as he spoke, “Do not walk away from me unless I tell you to do so. I suppose that is the first rule.” He raised his eyebrows slightly, waiting for a reply. Baffled, I only nodded in response.

He let go of me and started to circle me. I was frozen in place, but finally able to breath properly. All I wanted was to disappear. Listening to his footsteps, I waited in anticipation. I heard him getting closer to me, but I did not dare to look back. 

His footsteps stopped and I felt his presence right behind me. I flinched slightly when I felt his gloved hand placed on my uncovered hip, and I whimpered softly. A part of me wanted to slap his hand away, but I knew better than that. 

“Rule number two.” His breath tickled my ear, his whisper enticing me. “You do whatever I order you to, without resisting.” His hand left my bare hip, making my skin feel exposed and cold without his touch. That man was driving me mad. I yearned for his touch, yet simultaneously wanted him dead. He was my greatest enemy, how could I let him lure me in like this?

He appeared before me, towering over me once again. He grabbed my chin, pushing it upwards to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with hunger, the predatory look sending shivers down my spine. “Rule number three.” He paused briefly to examine my face. I gulped, almost nauseous from anxiety. 

“You are mine.” His voice was rough, ice-cold. It felt as if the spell he put on me vanished all of the sudden. Anger rose up inside of me instead. I pushed his arm away, and took a step back. “I belong to no one”, I sneered. My temper would not allow me to succumb this easily. 

It was unwise of me to oppose his will, but I still had my honour. Silence settled between us, filling the room. For a moment I thought he would hurt me, but instead he clicked his tongue in disapproval. He moved away from me, and walked over to the large window overlooking the snowy landscape. 

He broke the silence, speaking in a soft voice, almost a whisper. “I knew you would say something like that. Your nature is too fiery.” His back was still turned to me. I wished he could just end this all instead of this putting on this demeaning act. 

“But do not worry. I will make sure to break that heated spirit of yours.” I balled my fists out of frustration, trying really hard not to jump him to gauge his eyes out. “I’d like to see you try, bastard.”

He turned around on his heels, facing me. He smiled apologetically before continuing, “I am truly sorry, but it seems like you have not yet learned your lesson.” His arm reached forwards, striking me with the force. I fell to my knees, unable to move. 

“See, (Y/N), if you disobey me, you leave me no choice. You must be disciplined for your poor behaviour.” Sharp pain rushed through my body as I was gasping for air. I groaned out in agony while fighting back tears. “I suggest you be a good girl from now on.” His words were taunting, almost teasing. 

I swallowed hard. I was so done with this. “Why-… Why won’t you just kill me already.” I struggled to speak, as the pressure on my throat only increased. Kylo Ren looked at me, almost surprised with my statement. 

“I will never surrender to you.” My voice was razor sharp, even though I could barely breath. “I will fight you, oppose you until I die.” I couldn’t read the expression on his face. My vision became blurry and I felt my body becoming numb. “Just end this. Right now.” I challenged him. 

Just as I thought I was going to pass out, the pressure disappeared. My body dropped lifelessly to the hard floor. I grunted, trying to get up. I tried to push myself up using my elbows when I noticed him standing in front of me. I looked up, anger swirling in my eyes. He reached out, offering his hand. 

I don’t know what came over me, but I allowed him to pull me up. My legs were shaky and unstable, and I stumbled. He caught me before I could fall, allowing me to lean on his broad chest. I tried to push myself off him, but to no avail. 

“Let go.” I demanded weakly, trying to pry myself free from his grasp. He let out a displeased grumble. “It is me who gives out the orders.” He snapped, however he complied with my request. I faltered away from him, trying to find my balance. My eyes were cast down to the floor, trying to avoid his gaze. 

“You can resist all you want, spy. But you will surrender eventually. I can promise you that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So winter break is almost over, and I have a bunch of exams coming up in the next two weeks. I will try to update the story by then, but I cannot promise anything. As always, thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

He seemed very sure of his statement, and I felt obliged to prove him how wrong he was. In my head I was plotting countless of ways how I wanted to massacre him, but I knew I would never be able to. He was too powerful. Besides, part of me was still conflicted about my appeal for him.

“You have not eaten, have you?” His voice was soft, a slight hint of concern hidden in his tone. I tried to ignore the painfully empty feeling in my stomach. He was right, I was starving. I refused to eat the rancid meal that the guards offered me last night, so I haven’t eaten in nearly two days. 

“I suppose it is an appropriate time to eat something.” I heard him step away from me. I quickly glanced over to see where he was heading. He approached a small screen and tapped away on it. In the meantime my mind wandered off. 

Getting myself killed wouldn’t help the Resistance. It was in danger, and I had to try to do something, anything at all to save their future. Kylo Ren was aware of our base’s location, so I didn’t have much time. A simple warning should be enough, so that they can at least prepare for a battle, or maybe even flee. But how was I supposed to warn them? I was pretty much under surveillance at all times, and I had no access to anything useful. 

I heard the door behind me slide open, but I stayed put. I heard footsteps and shifting of furniture. I turned my head slightly, suddenly curious. A pleasant scent hit me and it made my stomach growl. I now turned around, seeing delicious looking food placed on the small table in the room. I observed Kylo Ren as he sat down at the table. 

He motioned for me to sit down across from him. I gave him a puzzled look, not sure what was happening. I warily sat down and looked down at the food before me. “Don’t be shy, eat.” I gave him a suspicious look. “Trying to poison me?” I snapped.

“It’s an order.” He retorted. I glared at him bitterly, but eventually grabbed a piece of bread. I reluctantly took a bite, the idea of It being poisoned holding me back. When I saw him doing the same, I relaxed a bit. I hungrily nibbled on the piece of bread, relieved. He said he wouldn’t kill me, but it didn’t hurt to be cautious. 

We ate in silence, neither of us saying anything. I was too focused on gobbling down the food, finally being able to soothe my aching hunger. While eating, I tried to come up with a plan. 

It completely contrasted my principles, but I knowing I had no other options, it was worth a try. I had to gain the First order’s trust if I wished to escape. Of course that meant I had to obey Kylo Ren’s orders, but at this point I was willing to do anything for the Resistance. 

_If I am convincing enough, and all works out well, I might be able to find a way to contact my base and alert them._

Lost in thought, I paid no attention to Kylo Ren when he stood up to pour us something that smelled like wine.  
_I need access to the transmitters. Ideally even a ship so that I can escape, but chances were that I will be killed before doing so._

Kylo Ren mumbled something that I didn’t quite fathom. When I didn’t respond, he clicked his tongue and pushed a cup into my hand. 

_Transmitters it is then. Though I will not hesitate escaping when given the chance._

I absent-mindedly took it and drank the sweet tasting alcoholic beverage. My plan might work. Even though I hate the idea of submitting, I was willing to whore myself out to save the Resistance. I snapped out of my thoughts when Kylo Ren nudged my arm, and I glared angrily at him. 

“You are ignoring me again.” His voice was deep and stern. He looked at me, frowning. “I offered you food and wine, trying to make you feel more at ease. The least you can do is pretend to listen to me.” I wanted to respond in a brassy matter, but I bit my tongue instead. If I wanted this to work out, I had to put my pride aside. 

“My apologies. I am a bit tired is all.” I tried to sound as honeyed as possible, but my sarcastic undertone was evident. He nodded and stood up, gesturing me to come with. I followed him as he lead me towards the room that I wondered about. It ended up being a bedroom, just like I expected.

The room was spacious and dimly lit. Just like the other room, it felt exceptionally clean and sterile. The large, king sized bed looked extremely soft and comfortable. My body was still sore from sleeping on the metal bunk in my cell. It was almost as if the bed was calling out my name, inviting me to collapse onto it and drift away. 

“I assume this is better than sleeping in your cell. You may rest here from now on.” Panic suddenly rose over me, realizing what that meant. Was I supposed to sleep in the same bed with him?! I felt heat rising to my face, a blush spreading across my cheeks. Flustered, I stared at him in disbelief. 

“You can’t be serious. You are joking, right?” I asked astonished. He crossed his arms and looked at me, seemingly amused by my embarrassed appearance. “You are not thrilled?” He asked mockingly, making me even more uneasy. 

“I don’t think you have a choice. I have made my decision.” My mouth fell open in disbelief. He looked serious enough. I gulped when I realized that I indeed had no choice. I had to obey if I wanted to save the Resistance, or at least try to. I declared to do anything. Even whore myself out, did I not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 6! For some odd reason the notes got deleted, I don't know how that happened. 
> 
> So I have a very busy few weeks coming up, so I am not sure when I will be able to update the story. I hope you all can understand, enjoy this chapter for now!


	7. Chapter 7

I indeed had no choice. Not long after that, he departed, leaving me dumbfounded. He said something about an important meeting. I was left all alone in his private quarters. I saw it as an opportunity. 

I decided to take a look around the knight of Ren’s quarters, trying to see if there was a way out. There was no way opening the main entrance without a key code, so that was out of the question. 

I even inspected the large window in the main area to see if I could break it, but that wouldn’t work either. Even if the glass was breakable, I would never make it far unnoticed. That or I would freeze to death out there thanks to the ridiculous attire I was wearing. Besides, where would I go without access to a ship? 

I looked out of the window, observing the moonlit landscape outside. The view was rather breathtaking. The snow glistened in the moonlight, millions of stars illuminating the deep blue night sky. It all looked so peaceful, almost surreal. 

I had to find a way to figure out the key code if I wanted to escape, which would not be an easy task. Gaining Kylo Ren’s trust would take a while, and I didn’t have much time. I could only initiate my escape plan if he dropped his guard, not guaranteed that it would happen at all. 

I needed something quicker and more effective. I briefly considered seducing him, but I doubted it would work. _His powers make it very difficult to execute that plan. He could see right through my little game._

But what else could I do? Patiently wait for the First order to set off towards D’Qar and attack the Resistance? I had to do something, and this was all I had. I could not fight him directly, and I seemed to have an advantage. This was my best chance. Kylo Ren seemed somewhat interested in me. I mean, why else would he keep me as some sort of plaything? I could turn this around, change the game plan. I was going to play by my rules.

I wasn’t sure when Kylo Ren would return, so I had to quickly come up with my first step. I rushed back into the bedroom and looked around me. I had to think very carefully about my future actions, not wanting to make it obvious that I was plotting something. I had to start off with something innocent and small, but enough to lure him in. I already had his attention, so I could make this work.

I took a deep breath and started ridding myself from my rather revealing garments, leaving only my underclothes on. My body shivered when my skin was exposed to the cool air, but I shook the feeling off and threw the miserable clothing somewhat outside the doorway, making it impossible not to notice them when entering the quarters. 

I crawled into the spacious bed while I tried to stop myself from shaking. I laid down on top of the covers with my back facing the door, trying to get in a comfortable position. It wasn’t hard at all, as the bed was incredibly cozy. Despite that, I was still shaking anxiously. _What on earth am I doing?_

There was no backing out now however, as I heard someone enter the room next to me. No doubt it was Kylo Ren, who else would come here at this hour? I heard footsteps pacing around, and I tried to relax, attempting to look asleep. 

After a few minutes I in fact almost dozed off. Only when I heard, who I assumed to be Kylo Ren, approach the bedroom, I snapped out of it and pricked up my ears. The footsteps suddenly stopped, and I assumed he had noticed my strategically placed clothing. A small smirk crossed my face. _He took the bait._ I tried to clear my mind, just in case he would get any ideas. 

I waited as calmly as possible, but not knowing what was happening behind me made me uneasy. I heard him breath in sharply and mutter something under his breath. Laying on top of his bed wearing nothing but my undergarments, in a rather… provoking manner was surely enough to catch his eye. I then heard him walk past the bed and out of the room, entering the bathroom next door. 

Puzzled, I slightly shifted, but didn’t dare to open my eyes. Just when I thought my mischievous plan worked... Was he not interested? Did he see right through my scheme? I tried to collect myself and took a deep breath. I couldn’t allow myself to panic now.

After what seemed an eternity, I heard him quietly walk back into the room. I heard a deep, muffled voice curse out. “Fucking shit.” Silence filled the room, making seconds feel like minutes. I noticed I was holding my breath. I suddenly felt very vulnerable. This was a bad idea. _What if he jumps me, forces himself on me… Hurts me?_

Kylo Ren was dangerous and unpredictable, and I regretted putting myself in this position. How foolish could I be? 

Expecting the worst, I almost jumped when I felt a soft material being placed over my exposed body. Completely perplexed, I wondered what all that was about. I kept my body as motionless as possible, trying to keep my breathing even. 

I felt the other side of the bed sink under the pressure of him laying down next to me. I heard him mumble something incoherent, and even though I did not understand a word, it sounded rather irritated. Did my temptation work after all?

I started to feel my exhaustion taking over, and after a few minutes I drifted off into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt a little bad not updating... Since I had a day off work/exams today, and being quite inspired to write, I decided to update! It's a bit shorter than usual, but I hope it suffices!


	8. Chapter 8

I did not remember the last time I slept through an entire night. Most of the time I was haunted by nightmares, restlessly tossing and turning in my sleep. I finally felt well rested for the first time in ages. I let out a satisfied sigh as I cuddled into the bed sheets, savouring the soft and warm feeling they provided me. 

I heard soft, even breathing behind me, surprised that I did not notice it before. I tried to turn around to see what dimwit dared to enter my bedroom, but failed to do so as there was something restricting my movements near my abdomen. 

Puzzled, I pried my eyes open, squinting as bright rays of sunshine creeping through the curtains blinded me briefly. I realized it was very early in the morning. I did not recognize my surroundings, which unsettled me. Slowly I became fully conscious, remembering where I was.

I then instantly raised the bed sheets only to reveal a long, strong arm clutched to my waist. Completely bewildered, I attempted to pry myself free from Kylo Ren’s grasp, but it seemed as if his arm was glued to me. “What the hell are you doing?” My voice was shrill and hoarse from sleeping, waking him up as I tried to push myself away from him.

He grumbled something, still half asleep when he lazily removed his arm from my waist. I turned around and moved away from him, gathering the bedsheets to cover myself as much as possible. He scowled and sat up, giving me an annoyed look. “Stop that.” He leaned back on his elbows and rubbed his eyes, then turned back to me. 

“That’s what I wanted to ask you. It seems you feel right at home, don’t you?” He observed my stunned face with a slight hint of amusement hidden in his features. Even though I was hoping for something like this to happen, it still made me uncomfortable. It seemed that my little plan worked however, so I decided not to make a big deal out of it. _Everything is going well so far, so stop acting like a blushing school girl!_ I scolded myself. 

Unbreakable silence fell upon us both, making me feel uneasy. Not knowing what to do in this very awkward situation, I stared down at my hands. I should have thought this through, as I had no idea what to do next. I hated how I sometimes acted so impulsively. 

Kylo Ren sighed deeply and stood up, entering the bathroom next door. I stayed put right where I was, unsure of what was going to happen. A few minutes had passed when he returned, fully dressed in his usual attire. He glanced over at me when he walked past me, heading towards the exit. I sat up, clutching the covers to my body. “Where are you going?” I asked. 

He turned around and crossed his arms in front of him. “Not just me, you too.” His voice was stoic and serious. I raised one eyebrow, giving him a questioning look. “Why are you still in bed?" He continued, "I said, you are coming with me.”

“Pardon?” I stood up, forgetting that I was only wearing my undergarments. I saw his eyes briefly scanning my body before focusing his gaze on my eyes again. Instead of acting flustered, I boldly urged him to explain. “Then tell me, where are _we_ going?” 

He turned around once again and picked up my deliberately placed clothing, tossing them at me. “Get dressed, we leave in an hour.” He said as he left the bedroom. I groaned out in frustration, irritated that he won’t tell me anything. “At least give me something decent to wear!” I cried out desperately, following him into the main area of his quarters.

He turned around to face me, still with a stoic expression painted on his face. “Why, you did not act so flustered last night, now did you?” My mouth almost fell open in disbelief. His cockiness angered me deeply, but I knew I had to play along if I wanted to escape. _I swear, I will not hesitate to kill you when given the chance._

 

“Some unfinished business is all.” Kylo Ren vaguely explained as we were heading towards a large ship, which I later learned to be his own command shuttle. He did not tell me where we were going, and his explanation did not make me any wiser either. I could hardly keep up with his pace, and even though I asked him to slow down, he kept striding forwards. 

After whining about my attire for long enough, he finally sent someone over to give me a different set of clothing. I was now much more comfortable, wearing long boots with black pants, along with a grey jacket. Once on the ship, I noticed there was a quite big crew involved with this ‘unfinished business’. At least two dozens of Stormtroopers accompanied us, along with Captain Phasma herself and two pilots. 

I did not know why he took me with him on this ‘trip’, but I did not mind. It gave me hope, I might get an opportunity to escape. Though deep down I knew that Kylo Ren would not allow such thing. 

I stood front of a window, staring into the endless galaxy before me. Immeasurable amounts of stars gleamed in the darkness, making me feel very small. Even though I was not much of a pilot, I loved the feeling of being able to fly anywhere, feeling sincerely free. I remembered how sometimes a good friend of mine would try to convince me to take on piloting professionally, but I would always brush it off, saying I was not meant to be one. I stuck to spying instead.

I truly missed everyone back home, and just thinking about how I would never see them again made me feel incredibly lonely and sad. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and angrily tried to blink them away, only resulting in a tear rolling down my cheek. 

I felt a presence behind me, and I quickly wiped away my tears. I did not turn around, not wanting whoever it was to see me cry. I heard footsteps approach me, and from the corner of my eyes I saw a figure standing next to me, looking out the window. I slightly turned my head, curious about who it was. I realized it was Captain Phasma, and wondered what she was doing here. I assumed she must really dislike me after I treated her disrespectfully the other day. 

“Can you tell me where we are heading?” I asked carefully, not wanting to upset her. Somewhere I truly admired her for achieving such a highly ranked position. The First Order was known for completely diminishing women, so she must have gone through a lot to prove her worth. 

“I cannot,” She retorted coldly. Why was she here then? She clearly did not come here to have a conversation or give me company, so what was it? 

I observed her tall figure. It was hard to tell it was a female hiding behind all of that armour, especially considering her impressive height. Only her voice revealed the fact that she was a woman, though I still wondered if I was not just imagining things. 

“Commander Kylo Ren has ordered you to go see him.” Her was tone apathetic and cold. I nodded, and just as I wanted to leave, she interrupted me.

“A moment, if you please.” Her voice sounded different, not as stoic as usual. I turned around to face her, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “What is it?” I asked, trying to sound as indifferent as possible. 

“I wanted to give you some advice,” she began speaking, still looking out the window. “I don’t know what it is that you did that convinced him to spare you, and I honestly do not care.” I gulped, suddenly nervous about what she wanted to tell me.

“All I wanted to say is, if you wish to stay alive, do not try to deceive him” I inhaled deeply, trying to keep my cool. _How could she possibly know?_

“Only a fool would try to do so, and I hope you are more intelligent than that.” She turned towards me, her arms folded behind her back. “Be careful, (Y/N).” Her words echoed in my head as she turned around and departed, leaving me behind, baffled.

Still shocked from what Captain Phasma had told me, I began wondering if she was aware of the fact that I was plotting something. Maybe it was just coincidence? And why would she care at all, even if she knew? 

I decided not to think about what she said, and started heading towards Kylo Ren’s control room. I briefly hesitated, but eventually knocked on the door. It slid open and I entered, trying not to look in Kylo Ren’s direction. Instead, I took a look around the room. I almost immediately noticed the transmitters, reminding myself to remember their placement just in case. 

“Sit down.” His voice was stern, deep. I did as he asked, but refused to look him in the eye as I sat down. “Will you now tell me where we are going?” I asked in an irritated manner. 

Not expecting an actual response, I was surprised when hearing the oh so familiar name. “Jakku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: Thank you so much for your patience! I am finally done with all of my exams, so I will be able to update more frequently. 
> 
> I received some comments asking me if I were interested in writing more star wars reader insert stories after I was done with this one, specifically a Poe Dameron x Reader. I must say, I would be more than willing to do so, if any more of you are interested. Let me know your thoughts!


	9. Chapter 9

I never thought I would ever return to that godforsaken place. I turned my head to face him, raising one brow. His face was stoic as usual, eyes peering into mine. 

“What are we going to that shithole for?” I scoffed, trying not to show my uneasiness. I had history with that planet, a past that I wanted to forget once and for all when I left, a few years before I joined the resistance. 

“Mind your language, a lady should not use such vulgar words.” I groaned out in anger, barely loud enough to be heard. Kylo Ren Stood up from his seat and started pacing around the room. I turned towards him, suddenly curious about what he was planning on doing on Jakku. 

“I would say that is none of your concern, however that is not necessarily true.” He spoke softly, his tone not revealing any sign of emotions. I gulped, trying not to panic. The thought of Jakku alone brought back bad memories, let alone actually returning to that worthless place. 

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” I asked boldly, ignoring his last remark about my tone. I always tried to hide my insecurities and or fears by acting tough, even though I knew I couldn’t keep it up forever. 

Kylo Ren shook his head and clicked his tongue in disapproval before continuing, “If you keep quiet for a moment, I am willing to explain.” He turned towards me and raised his brows, as if waiting for my permission. I rolled my eyes and gestured him to go on. 

“You have my blessing.” I retorted sarcastically, to which he replied in a similar manner. “Thank you, my lady.” I inwardly cringed whenever he called me _his lady_ , but I decided to just keep my mouth shut and listen. I was trying to win his trust, was I not? Might as well try to be a little less of a headache. 

“Since I have decided to keep you around, I might as well make use of your skills as a spy.” He started, still pacing around. Couldn’t he ever get straight to the point? 

“I know that you’ve been on Jakku before, you have spent a long time there, did you not?” I stared at him in disbelief, stunned. How could he possibly know such thing? I felt my heart starting to beat faster, suddenly feeling very hot. 

“How do you know?” I asked, my voice cracking as I spoke. He laughed shortly, and turned towards me. “You are like an open book, (Y/N). You cannot hide anything from me.” I narrowed my eyes, angrily peering at him. 

He sighed and went on, “You had nightmares, about Jakku. I could sense your fear while you were asleep so I decided to take a look.” I closed my eyes and turned away, avoiding his gaze. _So he knows. He invaded my mind in my most vulnerable state. ___

_I never knew my parents. All I knew is that my mother died giving birth to me, and that my father left my mother before that. At first I was raised by a distant relative whom I do not remember, but they soon disappeared as well._

_I somehow ended up on Jakku, sold as some sort of slave. I was forced to scavenge for valuables in the Jakku desserts, trying to find anything that would earn me barely enough food to survive. My life was meaningless, sad. I was lonely, lost. I remember dreaming of escaping Jakku, wanting to be free._

_One day, my wish came true. I was about seventeen years old when a Resistance squad visited Jakku. I remember looking at them in awe, dreaming about joining them, finally being able to flee from that horrid planet. One of the Pilots, Jeremy, noticed me among the other scavengers. He walked up to me and asked who was in charge._

_I was delighted to hear someone speak the common tongue, and I was eager to help them in any way I could. After leading them to my boss (I still refused to call him my Master), they explained to him that they were looking for recruits._

_They told my boss that they would pay him copiously for his very best. I immediately volunteered, practically begged them to take me with them. It took me a while to convince both parties, but I eventually succeeded._

_Ever since that day, I have been completely devoted to the Resistance. I worked hard, rising in rank rapidly as the years flew by. I finally had what I always yearned for, a place to call home. A family. I suppressed all of my horrible memories from my childhood, wanting to forget I was once a slave. It worked, I even grew to be the Resistance’s best spy._

But I ended up here now, in the hands of the First Order, forced to meet with my past once again. I squeezed the edge of my seat as I threw my head up to face Kylo Ren again. “If you know, then why do you want me to go back?” I snapped angrily. “You really enjoy to see me suffer, don’t you?” Hatred dripping off every word I spoke. 

“I already told you. I could use your spying skills.” He said in an apathetic manner. I bit the inside of my cheek out of frustration, trying to keep calm about the situation. “We are looking for something, I cannot tell you what. All you need to do is find the person whom possesses the item we are looking for.” 

I laughed sharply. “And you trust me with such an important task?” I shook my head and stood up, almost knocking my chair backwards. “Even if, I would need more information than that.” I walked up to him, leaving about two feet distance in between us. 

“And what’s in it for me?” I asked, curious. I looked him straight in the eyes, almost challenging him. A smirk painted his face as he peered right back at me. “Like you said, I do not trust you. However, if you complete this task successfully, I could reward you with more freedom in your current position.” 

I thought about it for a few seconds. If what he said was true, this would end up being beneficial for me. I would earn his trust and more free rein. Besides, I doubted that I could decline. 

I sighed and reached my hand forward to shake his hand. “Fine, we have a deal.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating again for longer than I anticipated, I got the great news that I have been accepted into university! So that took my mind off updating the story, but here it is at last! I love reading your guy's comments, so please leave your thoughts down below! I have already started writing the next chapter, as I have been having a lot of inspiration lately!


	10. Chapter 10

The last sunrays lingered somewhere beyond the horizon as I made my way back from my duty. I was wearing a hood and my head and face was covered by a rough material to protect my lungs from Jakku’s infamous dust and sandstorms. 

I had made a deal with Kylo Ren. I was supposed to find out whom possessed the oh so mysterious item the First Order was looking for. 

No one told me what it was, and to be quite frank, I didn’t care. I had a plan, and this was the perfect opportunity to make progress in fulfilling it. 

I was a bit breathless from walking the pretty long distance in order to get back to the command shuttle. I have successfully tracked the man who had what they were looking for, but I had no name, sadly. It was not hard to find him, he was pretty much the only male human in the area that matched the description. 

I rubbed my upper arm over the bump where a tracking device has been implanted, and I took a deep breath. I nearly fainted when they injected it in me, as I was terrible with needles. Just remembering it made me queasy.

Even though the thought of cutting the damned chip out was very tempting, I knew that I would not be able to hide for long. I had no ship, so I could not escape this planet anyway. It would take 2 days maximum for the first order to find me on this damned shithole, and then I would be done for. 

I saw a dim light gleaming in the distance, indicating I was going in the right direction, and I picked up my pace.

Upon my arrival, I was immediately greeted by two guards. They lead me straight back into Kylo Ren’s control room without saying a word. Once Inside, they left, leaving me alone with Kylo Ren. 

He was facing the other way, not saying anything. I pulled down my hood and the material covering most of my face, and dusted off my clothing, clearing my throat. A moment of silence passed, and so I decided to just start talking.

“I have found the person you are looking for.” I started, trying to sound as casual as possible. I saw him nod his head slightly, and it motivated me to go on. “An older man. He is staying a small village west of Niima Outpost.” I continued. “Though I cannot guarantee for how long.”

Kylo Ren turned his head slightly towards me. I then noticed that he was still wearing his mask. I never understood why he wore it anyway, I assumed it was to appear more intimidating and _unknown to the outside world._.

His distorted voice broke the brief silence that fell upon the room. “Do you have a name?” I sighed softly and shook my head. “No.” I replied coolly. 

He turned around, facing me. He had his arms folded behind his back, observing me from behind his mask. I raised my chin, staring right back at him. “No name… That is disappointing.” He finally replied. 

“You asked me to find the person you are looking for. You never asked specifically for a name.” I retorted, slightly annoyed that he seemed to be unappreciative of my efforts. He nodded shortly and turned back around. 

“I must say I expected a bit more… Initiative from such a highly skilled spy.” His distorted voice said in a slightly mocking manner. I gritted my teeth out of frustration. 

“But on the other hand, I also did not expect you to fully commit to the task.” I heard a door slide open behind me, and I turned my head to see a guard walk into the room. 

“We did not start off very well, did we?” He continued. I did not reply. “You may think of me whatever you like, but I am a man of my words. You will be granted more freedom. Just as promised.”

“Thank you.” I tried to sound as unaffected as possible, yet I was relieved that this has been beneficial for me. I was then lead out of the room by the guard, and then to Captian Phasma. 

“So you have found who we were looking for.” She said, seemingly surprised. “Yes.” I replied, somewhat wanting to make a good impression on her. 

“Good job.” She said after a brief moment of silence.

 

I was indeed granted more freedom in the following days, though I still had that tracking device implanted in my arm. After my short mission we departed back towards Starkiller base, which took me by surprise. Even though I had found the man the First Order was looking for, they did not take any further action. 

Of course, they did not tell me anything about their plans, so I was not entirely sure what would happen to the man. I felt guilty, somewhere deep down. It felt as if I betrayed him, without even knowing who he was. I was a Resistance spy after all, working for the First Order. Assisting them was treason indeed.

I tried not to think about it too much. I was still planning on escaping, and hopefully causing some damage in the process. Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to use the transmitters without anyone noticing. I decided I had to leave it be for now. 

Back at Starkiller base, not very much had changed. Even though I was granted more freedom, I was still Kylo Ren’s “Servant” and had to obey him. I no longer had to wear the ridiculous and demeaning attire for his entertainment however, and I was allowed to roam his quarters freely. 

It was definitely a weird situation. Two days have passed since we returned, and it seemed as if nothing practical was going to happen anytime soon to aid me with my plan. I could not leave Kylo Ren’s quarters as I still did not figure out the keycode. 

And as far as my other plan goes… It was complicated. Even though I despised the man, I could not deny my attraction towards him. Every time I subtly acted somewhat flirtatious, it seemed as if it was him who was twisting me around his finger. In the end it was me who ended up all flustered, not him. 

It was frustrating to say the least. Yesterday for instance. I made a vaguely suggestive comment about him handcuffing me again if I misbehaved. It came out just how I wanted it to, but when he responded in a similar manner, I suddenly got cold feet and dropped the subject, avoiding him for the rest of the evening.

Tonight was going to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can explain. Writer's block, actually. I apologize, I should have updated sooner. I hope this chapter is not too bad, I might change it a little in a day or two if I find the quality not matching the previous chapters.


	11. Chapter 11

I had to fully commit to my plan. I needed to completely shed myself from any pride or honor I had left if I truly wished to escape. _Enough is enough, I am doing this. Tonight._

I was pacing nervously around Kylo Ren’s quarters, unable to believe that I was really going to do this. I stopped and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Sure, what I was about to do was risky, to say the least, and it might not even work out how I wanted it to. 

_What’s the worst thing that can happen? He will see right through me and kill me on the spot?_ I shook my head and clenched my fists. No. He will fall for it. He had to. 

My previous flustered behavior would actually help me with my plan. Kylo Ren knew I was somewhat attracted to him, and playing the ‘hard to get type’ whilst being flustered. I saw him getting frustrated multiple times whenever I would play my game. I would tease, and back out as soon as he advanced any further. What I was about to do might be enough to make him snap.

But making him snap was dangerous. He was capable of many things, he could hurt me. And it was not guaranteed everything was going to play out according to my plan. But I was sick of sitting on my ass, waiting for an opportunity. I was going to create one, damn it. 

I turned my head towards the bedroom, and then glanced at the clock. I had about 5 minutes before he would come back from some meeting, as usual at 9 o’clock precisely. Hopefully he would be a bit irked already, which was usually the case whenever he came back from a gathering. 

This was going to be the last step towards making the great escape, or the beginning of the great escape I should say. I needed a distraction, and this was my best bet. 

I took a last glance at the entrance of the quarters before making my way through the bedroom into the bathroom, locking it behind me. Then I completely undressed myself and stepped under the shower. I shivered coming in contact with the cool air, tiny goosebumps covering my entire body. I took a deep breath before turning on the water, and started to rinse my body. 

 

I started to relax a little as I scrubbed my body clean. I began washing my hair, massaging my scalp. It was almost as if I had forgotten what was about to happen, or at least I hoped would happen. 

I almost yelped when I heard a loud bang on the bathroom door. _He’s back._ I gulped and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to mentally prepare myself for everything that is to come. I ignored the banging and started humming softly to somewhat cancel out the sound.

I heard Kylo Ren’s muffled voice from behind the door, not being able to grasp what he was saying. I heard more banging, this time louder. When I did not reply, I heard Kylo Ren yell out once more, this time hearing him more clearly. 

“Y/N, Get out of there. Right now.” His voice sounded as if he was trying really hard to stay calm. I grinned, relieved to hear he was clearly irritated. _This might just work out. Keep going_ I thought to myself.

“What?! I can’t hear you!” I called out as I rinsed the shampoo from my hair, resulting in me not hearing his reply at all. I seemed perfectly at ease now, in the middle of my game plan. This seemed to be much easier than I originally anticipated. I grew more confident, and I decided to keep this going for a little while longer. 

I heard another bang, supposedly a kick on the door, followed by some muffled yelling. My smile grew wider as I continued to play my little innocent game. “I am kind of busy right now! I will be out in a moment or two!” 

After another minute I finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I looked at myself in the mirror, observing my appearance. My cheeks were flushed and my hair drenched. My skin glistened, tiny drops of water dripping off my body. 

I heard loud and frantic footsteps approaching the door, assuming he was just as pissed as he was moments ago. I quickly wrapped a black towel around my body, not bothering to dry myself off. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU.” His voice was razor-sharp, uncontrollable anger seeping from every word he spoke. It should have intimidated me, however I was too deep in at this point to care. 

I calmly unlocked the door and carelessly threw it open, resulting in it crashing against Kylo Ren’s already furious entity. I “Whoops”-ed as I walked out of the bathroom, not granting him a single glance. 

I could almost hear his blood boil. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” His voice was dark, this time managing to stop me in my tracks. I did not turn around to face him, but I slightly tilted my head to give him the impression I was listening. 

“You wanted me to “get the fuck out of the bathroom”, did you not?” I replied coolly, knowing fully well my response would only increase his anger. 

“Look at me when I speak to you.” He spat, barely controlling his anger. I sighed and turned around my heels, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I deliberately pushed my breasts up a little, trying to provoke him further. 

“Is this how you treat me?” He said, clearly about to burst out in fury. I cast my eyes to the floor, raising one eyebrow. I decided to play dumb instead of answering. 

“I’m sorry, is something wrong?” I asked innocently, pouting a little. I looked up to look him in the eyes, and immediately regretted it His eyes gleaming predatory as that look of his smouldered like fire over my features. He ravished me with his eyes. My legs trembled a bit as I tried to compose myself.

He was no longer paying attention to what I was saying. My heart was pounding in my chest, my breaths became short gasps for air. I turned around and wanted to leave, but something stopped me.

I couldn’t move. I stood frozen in place, dread overwhelming me. I heard him step towards me, and I gulped. I felt the towel slowly slipping down, but I could not move in order to prevent it from falling down. 

And so it dropped down to the ground with an audible sound. I was completely exposed, turned to stone. Unable to move a single muscle. 

I felt his presence behind me, the heat radiating off his body. I felt his hand slide up and down my side, making me shiver. His other hand roamed over my chest, tracing the curves of my body. I felt his breath against the shell of my ear, and I whimpered softly. 

“Don’t you think I know what you are doing?” He spoke in a husky voice. I could not think straight. My mind went blank. I could only focus on his intoxicating touch, the heat building up in my core. 

“You can try to deny it all you want, spy. But your actions speak louder than your words.” He cooed. His hand went down towards my backside, squeezing it relentlessly. I gasped, trying to suppress a moan. 

“I wanted you ever since I laid eyes upon you.” He murmured as his breath tickled down my neck, before he attacked the sensitive spot. I could not hold back this time, as a soft moan escaped my lips as he softly bit down.

“I know you want me too, Y/N. You cannot pretend anymore.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block him out. I tried to ignore his touch, his voice. But I was drowning in it. I was giving into him. 

“I am going to make you regret ever disobeying me, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?
> 
> You guys, it's coming. Soon. I promise. I had to stop right there, so that this chapter doesn't get too long or out of proportion to the other chapters. Please forgive me!
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter, continuing right where we left off ;D


	12. Not an actual chapter, but an apology/update.

Oh boy, I am one big disappointment aren't I?

First of all, I have to explain myself. Hi, remember me? Sorry for abandoning this story, especially seeing how many of you were enjoying it and were eagerly waiting for an update. It never came, and this was really shitty of me I know. I was busy with life and graduating and those are just excuses but hear me out. I completely forgot about this story (how? we might never know) and I haven't been at all active here, which is why I never thought of continuing the story. Really, after that last chapter? Yes, really. Sorry.

How can I make it up to you? Well, fuck maybe you could finish the damn story, obviously. To that I will say, yes, I should. And I will try to do so. But, knowing myself too well, I know I will find it hard to return to a story I have abandoned for so long. And if I do, I will probably just end up hating everything that I write, feeling as if it just does not fit in with the rest of the chapters. The least I can do is try, and like I said, I will. 

If any of you are still interested in seeing this story finished, that is. 

Again, I don't really know what to say other than: Please forgive me, I will try to make it up. Thank you again for appreciating my previous chapter, and seemingly enjoying them. 

When will I start writing? Maybe tonight, but I will have to do a lot of reading before I do. Reading my own story that is, because I need to refresh my memory. After that I will try to write something. I will update you, for real, on wether I succeeded in continuing, or sadly if I didn't. 

Any feedback/ideas/suggestions on this story or upcoming new stories are more than welcome. Please, share your thoughts, anger towards me leaving you hanging, telling me about your dog and what he looks like... Anything. 

Farewell for now, I will be back (and no, it won't take me 100+ days. Promise.)


	13. Chapter 13

I don’t remember how I got there, but I was sprawled out on the enormous bed, breathing heavily. I couldn’t think straight, my heart was racing. It felt as if it was going to burst out of my chest. Never have I experienced feeling like this, true terror mixed with desire. 

What was my plan again? Did I even have a plan at this point? I didn’t know, and at that point I didn’t care. I was torn between wanting to get out of there and run, and giving into my, his desire. But I know I couldn’t. Neither of those things. 

I clenched my fists and tried to focus, attempting to evade his touch. His hands roamed my body, his touch like fire. When I tried to move away from him, his grip on my thighs tightened, pulling me closer to him.

He spoke in a low voice, I didn’t understand what he was saying. My mind felt hazy, the familiar faint sting accompanied by it. It went away as soon as it came, making me even more anxious. 

_Run. Get away from here._

I suppressed a moan when I felt his hand slide up my inner thigh, inching closer to where I wanted him to touch me, or rather where I did not want him to. I pressed my legs together and took a deep breath. 

I didn’t dare to look at him, keeping my gaze focused on the ceiling above me. I heard something that could be described as a chuckle. He was talking, but I couldn’t focus on his words in order to comprehend what he was saying. 

_Give in. Let go._

It was tempting, oh so tempting. It would have been the easy thing to do, letting go. Giving in. But I still refused to. I would fight it. I needed just a little more time.

_Time for what?_

He must have noticed my mind was starting to wander again, so he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. I shut my eyes, tightly, not wanting to look him in the eyes. Everything felt wrong, but yet something about it seemed so right.

I felt the bed sink in further as he moved closer to me, feeling his weight slowly pressing onto me, his knee digging in between my legs to separate them and keep them parted. I felt his breath tickle over my ear, incoherent words whispered. I gathered the strength to try and move away from him, only resulting in failure. 

“Resistance is futile. You know it.”

My eyes snapped open when I felt his hand cup my core. His face was inches away from me, a sly grin plastered on his face. This time I couldn’t suppress my moan, as it escaped my lips. It was quiet, barely audible. But he heard it, I knew. His eyes grew wider, his grin ever so present.

“There you go, that’s better.” 

I could hear him now, every word was distinct and clear-cut. My body felt as if it was being nearly crushed under his weight, and I somehow liked it. 

_This is so wrong._

He attacked my neck, his hand now stroking my womanhood, while the other roamed my body. Squeezing, groping. My breath hitched in my throat, and my hands flew up to intertwine my fingers in his dark locks. 

I felt his chest rumble, and his hand slid up to grasp my cheek. It was almost a caress, but his rough touch prevented it being just that. He looked me in the eyes, his lips barely hovering above mine. 

I don’t know what came over me. I must have allowed myself to let go, though only for a moment. I pressed my lips onto his, mind clouded with need. He immediately responded, assaulting my lips feverishly. He bit my lower lip, causing me to gasp. 

That must have brought me back to my previous state of mind, since you could not really call that being fully clear in the head. I tried to turn my head away, but his hand still firmly placed on my cheek stopped me from doing so. 

He pulled away for a second, his dark voice making me shudder: “You are starting to like it, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. He immediately attacked my lips once again, not allowing me to respond. Not that I would, or even could. 

He removed his hand from my sex, making me whimper, making me feel lost without his touch right there. His hand moved to my rear, squeezing it relentlessly. He gripped the nape of my neck to keep me in place while he pressed his forehead into mine, grinding his groin into my abdomen. I pushed my chest out instinctively, earning another groan from him. 

My body felt as if it was on fire, my core longing for any friction. Instinct was taking over, I was losing this battle against myself. On that note, I wrapped my legs around his waist, involuntarily. It just happened. 

The urge to resist started to fade away. My hand roamed his broad chest, soft moans escaping my throat, muffled by his lips. I felt his hardness, pressing onto me. Another strangled moan escaped my throat, my head thrown back out of bliss caused by the sweet friction, teasing my entrance. 

“This is what you do to me.” His deep voice hummed, making my gasp softly. 

I heard the sound of a buckle and the rustling of clothing being discarded of. I looked down to see him remove his upper clothing, revealing his bare chest. His Breeches were undone, his hardness very evident through his undergarments. I gulped quietly, intimidated by his dominant image.

He was on top of me again, assaulting my collar bone. I closed my eyes and mewled softly as he continued his ministrations.

Suddenly, a foreign scent alerted me. I became very aware of what was happening, suddenly appalled by the situation. That smell seemed to bring me fully back to consciousness. I tried to push him off of me, my best efforts wasted. He left my collarbone and moved on to attack my lips once again. 

_Smoke._

He did not notice it. He was lost in a frenzy caused by lust and desire. My skin was no longer burning because of the sensation, it was now truly real.

 _Fire._

It all came back to me now. My plan. I once again tried to push Kylo Ren off me, the outcome same as my previous attempt. I tried to cry out, my voice muffled by his lips.

_We have to get out, no, I have to get out of here._

I did the only thing I could do at this point. I bit down, hard. Drawing blood. He immediately released me, grunting and pulling my hair so that my head fell back. “Rough type, huh? You are going to regret that.” 

“Fire!” I cried out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! It took me longer than anticipated, I lost the file and was forced to rewrite it, which was a bit disheartening. I feel like it turned out way better than I thought, I surprised myself how easy it was to get back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoyed, I know I did writing it! I can't guarantee when the next chapter is coming out, I decided to stop making "promises" to prevent any disappointments.


End file.
